Thoughts on 45

So today I turned 45. I realized that if I live to be 90 I've hit the halfway mark. Not that I think of this as morbid, It just makes me look back at the first half and think if I'm happy with it or not.

Am I happy with the first half? Well, yes and no. I've done things in my past that I'm not proud of. If one believes in the true sense of "everything you do makes you who you are" any changes I would want to make in my past would change who I am today so would I go back and make changes? I'm still not sure. I think that my biggest regret in the past is that I can pinpoint times that I was childish, immature and hurt people by my actions or words. I can't say that I did it intentionally, but I know that it happened, so I do regret my words/actions. Can I change that...no...not really. I've apologized when I could - some people I've never seen again, so I've not been able to. If I do see them - yes, I would say I'm sorry.

So - back to the question - am I happy with the first half? If you had asked me 15 years ago, I would have said yes. 10 years ago I would have said no. 6 years ago I would have said hell no...now I have to say, I've never been happier. Even on the most difficult mornings when I'm running late and the kids are giving me issues - I look at my boys and feel like the luckiest woman ever. I am involved with one of the best companies in America and I'm rolling up the ladder there. My current job that I get paid well for is challenging and exciting at times and shows promise to get even more so.

I'm not sure it can get better - and yet...it keeps getting better and better.

Is there such a thing as destiny, fate, or Murphy's law?

So, I'm due to leave for Salt Lake City in 24 hours. I'm supposed to be going to our annual conference, but I'm not excited in the least. In fact, I've been dreading the drive, the whole conference scene, the time away from the family. Now I've discovered that I don't even have a room. Someone from the home office was supposed to have put my name on one of the rooms in our block and apparently didn't. I'd either have to find another hotel to stay in or just not go. Right now, I'm ready to just stay home.

There is so much to go for - yet, my brain is just not there. I'm too worried about court on Friday. The pivotal day in my baby's life and I won't be here.

Additionally, I didn't meet my sales goals like I wanted. which sucks.

There has to be a first one...

a first post that is.

A new blog...a fresh start. I faithfully read some blogs and I truly enjoy them. Strange how the internet now connects us all. Facebook has changed the way we communicate (some think for the better, some worse)and on any given day, we can take a trip into the lives of people thousands of miles away with the click of a button and an internet connection.

The hardest part of starting this blog? Finding a title. Then, the other day, someone at work referred to me as the "woman in a shoe" due to the fact that I have six children. Six kids doesn't feel strange to me - I'm the oldest of 7 siblings and my husband (M) is the oldest of 8. Of course, the two oldest are grown and gone, one with kids of her own (technically making me a grandmother?!). So, the Shoe Chronicles was born...it especially fits because I love shoes - a girl just can't have too many.