So today I turned 45. I realized that if I live to be 90 I've hit the halfway mark. Not that I think of this as morbid, It just makes me look back at the first half and think if I'm happy with it or not.
Am I happy with the first half? Well, yes and no. I've done things in my past that I'm not proud of. If one believes in the true sense of "everything you do makes you who you are" any changes I would want to make in my past would change who I am today so would I go back and make changes? I'm still not sure. I think that my biggest regret in the past is that I can pinpoint times that I was childish, immature and hurt people by my actions or words. I can't say that I did it intentionally, but I know that it happened, so I do regret my words/actions. Can I change that...no...not really. I've apologized when I could - some people I've never seen again, so I've not been able to. If I do see them - yes, I would say I'm sorry.
So - back to the question - am I happy with the first half? If you had asked me 15 years ago, I would have said yes. 10 years ago I would have said no. 6 years ago I would have said hell no...now I have to say, I've never been happier. Even on the most difficult mornings when I'm running late and the kids are giving me issues - I look at my boys and feel like the luckiest woman ever. I am involved with one of the best companies in America and I'm rolling up the ladder there. My current job that I get paid well for is challenging and exciting at times and shows promise to get even more so.
I'm not sure it can get better - and yet...it keeps getting better and better.
